did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He felt like a one man threesome
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
