WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
