The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
