I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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