I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
