i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
please come you make the beer taste better
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize