Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
