What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
