so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
