sarcasm needs its own font
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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