So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
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Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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