Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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