I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
