I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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