And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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