what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
