Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
