Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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