my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
