I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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