thus making me awesome and them whores
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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