I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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