i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
