My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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