you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
