You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
