I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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