you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
