I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
