He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Even my vagina gasped.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
