whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize