You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
