I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
