I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
