I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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