how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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