I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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