woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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