look no pants
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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