I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
