I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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