He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
