so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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