i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize