dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
