don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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