Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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