She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
