I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
