I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
