Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Green mimosas i think yes
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
