i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
