I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
