I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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