I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
