I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
