She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
